


the remembrance

by orphan_account



Category: The Rookie (TV 2018), chenford - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25945726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: weeks after Lucy's planned death and kidnapping, she is ready to go back to work. Or so she thinks.
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello ! welcome to my second work! I'm pretty proud of this one so, please enjoy !

It had been 3 weeks. Lucy had come back from the dead, physically and emotionally. She had been kidnapped. She reminded herself that every time she looked at her tattoo. She lifted her shirt over her head and the fabric covered her torso and her day of death. Today was her very first day back to work. She wasn’t ready. She knew that. But she also knew that she would never be ready. She walked out of her room and grabbed coffee, avoiding Jackson on her way out. She wanted to have a clear mind and that included having time to prepare her first conversation with Tim. She drove, happy to have some freedom and she felt safe in her car. Previously, the only time she felt safe was in her bedroom. For the first week, she couldn’t leave even if she willed herself to. She was frozen, afraid to speak or to move in case somebody came for her and she had to have all her strength to get away. She pulled into the parking lot and walked into the change room to make sure her clothes were straightened and that she had her hair tied up well enough. Several times she considered cutting it all off, buzzing her hair down to make sure that she had no disadvantage if someone tried to grab her scalp. She had decided not to, but as she tucked the flyaway hairs, she again thought of the ‘what ifs’ for when she was on duty today. She emerged from the changeroom and walked to the briefing room early to avoid being noticed. She tried to hide from her colleagues as much as she could. She recognized that she was spread thin at the moment and couldn’t risk having anything too emotional get in her way.   
“Chen?” Tim’s voice echoed through the empty room’s walls.   
She spun around to face him, the only person she had prepared herself to talk to.   
“What the hell are you doing back so soon?” He asked, both concern and annoyance in his voice.   
“I was ready,” Lucy replied, not even convincing herself.   
“I don’t buy it,” Tim says, sitting down in his spot and resting his boots against the table.   
She shrugs. “I couldn’t stay at home forever.”   
Usually, he would make a remark, but she assumed he was being gentle with her, to begin with, at least.   
As people filed in, she made sure to avoid any people she knew. She didn’t mean to be selfish, but she needed time to be able to be herself again. She had a feeling only Tim would really understand what she meant.   
After the briefing was over, she and Tim began their patrol. He drove as always and she stared out the window, feeling slightly on edge being back in their rig.   
“Chen, are you sure you’re cleared to be back at work?”   
She nods, still not making eye contact.   
The ride is silent until they get a call.   
She responds, her voice shaky.   
They are to go up to a lodge close to her kidnapper’s lot to investigate domestic abuse. She knows this will most likely trigger her, but she also knows she and Tim are the closest to where they need to go.   
They drive, Tim constantly asking if this is the right choice. She doesn’t think a little bit of overstimulation will hurt anyone but herself, and she is willing to do that to help who needs help.   
As they pull through the dirt road to the house, she feels a slight headache and shortness of breath. She thinks nothing of it and gets out as she would normally.   
She felt the gun under her hand and felt slightly reassured, but she still was uncomfortable and her head was pounding.   
“Chen?” Tim broke her train of intrusive thought.   
“Yeah. Sorry.”   
“You remember how this works, right? You don’t want me to give you a quick refresher?”   
“No, Tim, I’m fine, let’s check this out and get out of here, okay?”   
They approach the door, her stomach dropping as she ascended the steps. The porch was the same feeling under her feet as at Caleb’s.   
She was now on high alert, ready to protect herself and anyone else who threatened them.   
As the door opened after Tim’s knock, Lucy’s breath was lost.   
The person in the door looked like Caleb.   
Lucy stepped back as the door was opened fully. She got a sideways glance from Tim before he began to speak.   
She tried to focus, she really did, but she kept having vivid flashbacks to her kidnapping. She pushed them away and followed when Tim walked inside.   
They walked around the place, talked to both people inside the house, and even privately asked both of them if anything was really going on. This seemed to be a false alarm, which lucy was happy about, both for the reason that nobody was getting hurt and that they could leave as soon as possible.   
They continued to walk around the house and Lucy was doing well until they came across their dining room.   
She was thrown back into her memories, where she remembered being tied to a chair, trying to stall Caleb, and breaking free only to be buried alive.   
She blinked as she came back to reality, where she wiped a single tear from her face.   
“Lucy?” Tim leaned close to her ear so nobody else could hear them.   
“I-I’m fine.” She said weakly, as she focused on the people ahead of her.   
“So,” she asked, speaking up for the first time. “Do you know who put the call in?”   
The couple shook their heads.   
“We did have a bit of a dispute last week.” The woman said and then chuckled. “It was in the grocery store, we were arguing about which soup to buy.”   
“Someone may have been confused, as when I thew a can into the basket it sounded a lot like a slap and I remember when Stephanie hears a loud noise she gets a bit upset.” the man said.   
“Yes. he consoled me after, which I can see why someone would think I was being hurt. I truly am fine though.” Stephanie assured.   
“Right.” Tim said, “well I'm sorry for the disturbance. You have a good day.”   
They exited the house.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one really only makes sense read back to back from the first chapter so if you have the time pls read it like that !

Lucy was glad to be getting away from there.   
On her way down the steps, she tripped and fell down. Dust clouded her eyes and she began to imagine again what her kidnapping looked like.   
She was fighting. Hard. She made it outside and she had nowhere to run.   
“What, do you plan on staying there, boot?” Tim asks, once again bursting Lucy’s thoughts.   
She scrambled up and walked back to the car staring at the sandy ground. She couldn’t help but imagine what she felt like underneath the ground such as this.   
She climbed back into the car and they drove away from the place. She knew she would have reacted like this, and she was happy nothing else happened.   
Until that is, they went under a tunnel.   
Suddenly, she began to hyperventilate. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t breathe. Like underground it was dark. She was hot, and there was no air. Her eyes widened as she grasped her throat searching for breath.   
Her body began to curl and she felt her seatbelt crumple in on her, causing her an intense amount of pain over her scarring. She began to cry silently.   
Completely unaware, Tim kept driving until they were out of the tunnel.   
“So, boot, what happened back there?” He asked, looking over to find Lucy curled up, crying, and struggling to breathe.   
Her eyes were closed and she began to try and self soothe by rubbing her thumb against her arm, but it only made her feel as though she was ripping duct tape away from her arms.   
“Chen? What are you doing?” Tim asks, pulling the car into the ditch.   
“I-” Lucy starts, only to be caught off guard again by how little air she could manage to get.   
Tim gets out of the car and swings the passenger door open, lifting lucy out and laying her on the dirt.  
Lucy continues to struggle to breathe and starts to stutter.   
“I-I can’t I c-can’t breathe. I can’t do it Tim I can’t do it.”   
He began to reassure her.   
“You’re ok Chen.” You’ll be fine. Breathe in. Breathe out.”   
He knew this wasn’t a good idea. They shouldn’t have let her back so soon. She wasn’t ready and he knew that. He knew it and he failed her, again.   
She feels the pain in her abdomen slowly fade as her body unravels itself.   
Her brain spins both out of embarrassment and going in and out of reality, seeing Tim as Tim trying to protect her and as Caleb, torturing her and laughing at her as she climbs into a barrel to her doom.   
She gets stuck longer in her imagination the longer she is on the ground.   
She feels as though she is dead, staring up at Tim who’s mouth is moving but no words come out.   
“Chen? Chen, can you hear me yet?”   
She nods slowly, bringing herself back to a normal breath before passing out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! this one was a little short but I really enjoyed writing it !

She fell in and out of consciousness on her way somewhere, she didn’t know where. One of the times she awake, she was unable to distinguish where she was, and she was afraid. It didn’t help that she on longer had her gun or her duty belt.  
Lucy eventually stopped forcefully slipping in and out of consciousness and fell into a sleep plagued by nightmares and reminders of the terrors she had been through. 

She awakens in her room and while being slightly relieved, she makes to take quick count of where she is. Her clothes had been mostly left on, save for her button-up shirt that went over her undershirt. She tried to roll over, only to find her hand had been secured by her wrist to the frame of her bed.  
She begins to panic again as she struggles to undo whatever was holding her close to her bed. She tried to find a latch but there was none. She moves as far as she could but is just shy of the door.  
She kicks something into their living room, hopeful to catch someone’s attention until she realizes that catching someone’s attention may just be the last thing she needs.  
As their apartment door unlocks, she readies herself to fight for her life again.  
Footsteps draw near and she stands back, hiding her body close to her bedside table.  
“Chen?” Tim asks. She doesn’t recognize him.  
He looks to where she is hiding and comes closer.  
“Lucy, what are you doing there?”  
She punches him in the nose and begins to furiously pull against the restraint.  
He staggers back, as he was unprepared for her attack.  
“Calm down!” He says, clutching his nose.  
She manages to bite off the fraying rope and takes off sprinting through the apartment. She begins to unbolt the door, her hands shaking.  
She takes off into the hallway, running as stably as her stinging legs allowed.  
She feels hands on her shoulders and she struggles to fight back as the force pulls her back towards the apartment.  
She feels herself being spun around and met with Tim’s bleeding face.  
“Tim!” She says, leaning back from his grip.  
“D-did I do that?” She asks, concerned.  
“Yeah.” He laughs a bit. “Yeah, you caught me off guard.”  
“Oh my god,” Lucy says, walking to her couch to sit down. “I’m sorry, Tim.”  
“It’s fine. I just wanted to check on you to make sure you were doing okay. I guess you’re not.”  
She begins to ask what happened, and Tim tries to explain to the best of his ability.  
He explains that they think she had an emotional overload which lead to more complications and then to the part where they wanted to take her to the hospital but Tim thought it would be better to bring her home in case she reacted exactly how she did.  
She also explains that she started to remember what she felt like underground and she stopped understanding where she was or who was who.  
She realized how much had happened and what she had done, where she had been and what she had come back from.  
It was all too much. She began to cry.  
“Woah, boot. It’s ok now.” Tim said, unsure about what to do.  
She reached for his arm and as she had at the burial site, she buried her head into his collar.  
“Okay, boot.”  
“You’re ok.”  
And there they were, once again, Tim trying to protect Lucy.  
He decided that now and forever, he would protect her.


End file.
